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Its very difficult because of everything being through social media. Moreover, the isolation i was harboring before has been reactivated in large by the Pandemic, so I don't talk to many people or have conversations that I feel people care or are listening. They are in their own world of thoughts..Its about who's smarter, and I just want to let go and be happy but conversations don't go well, so I have severe social anxiety. I feel I have to act tough because of my baby side. My brain now is trained and stuck in isolation of my own mixed thoughts.. and I kind of feel that everyone is against me.. its me against the world, which is really bad. People aren't as sensitive, they play the game, and I now am like stuck.. be transparent or act so that I don't get hurt and I play the game. Its always a catch 22 with me, conflicts and a lot of negativity because of how I am, and I feel others are. I expect people to act in certain ways. I wind up being like a robot to hide feelings. Overall, I don't really enjoy things and am finding it hard to be 'human' because that becomes a detriment. People expect things to be perfect, I can't be perfect with everything. Its a complex situation. I can't keep moving forward because I don't care about being perfect anymore like I was when I was younger.

What is most important.

I don't know how to handle people who are straightforward with all of their feelings. It's nigh impossible for anyone, and I mean anyone, to not register when the person opposite them is being honest and genuine. I fall apart in the face of this, but I am able to keep up a cool countenance and a lot of people will construe this as understanding what it is that they are telling me. It, in fact, puts me in a position of having to look at my own inability to present near every emotion I feel, let alone articulate them. The only ones that come out are rash frustration and anger. I feel entirely overwhelmed by my own emotions, but I have become proficient in keeping them down or explaining them away to myself. The few people in my life who have been close to me are the ones who are most exposed to this side of me, and they are rightfully shocked and wounded by the outbursts. I have slowly become more and more able, with the help of my partner, family and therapist, to speak to my other emotions, as well as my anger and frustration. I cannot help feeling inept and incapable in the face of the pain I cause those closest to me, because of my outbursts, and their being upset from them. I lose myself, unconsciously, I have come to realize, to habits that provoke my loved ones and permit me to seem the victim of their actions. It eats me up inside when I am unable to truly fix the problem and I lose myself to self-pity and self-loathing. That isn't to say that I am not doing better at being more expressive and permitting an even larger circle of people to become closer to me and see me for all that I am. However, these difficulties will still come up and will greatly impact those who have become closest to me. There are still many hurdles that I have to get over in the way of becoming an open, honest and straightforward man, but I have finally begun to inch my way towards that goal. To everyone out there facing the same: never cease reminding yourself that you cannot fix everything, emotion is not weakness and you will be okay if you lean into discomfort and vulnerability. At the end of it all: you should love yourself for the multitudes that exist within you, good and bad. Be safe and take care. -SRB

ICS sufffer

Why is it that you can't take the tests? It doesn't work.

Where is the test?

All those bottled up feelings are going to come out In some way Whether it be anxiety, anger, depression, Avoiding people, isolation And so much more. I have just started X started expressing my feelings and I am 57. I have had my feelings bottled up probably since I was 10 or a little older and then things actually got worse at 15 adding to my trauma. At 15 it was happening to me before this I was witnessing Mental and physical abuse of my older brother. You have the right anybody has the right to Be heard ans express their feelings and to say if something is not comfortable low power

I have a lot of problems in attachment and abandonment.

Hi There I suffer from Anxiety , PTSD

Yes

I don't see the 30 question test

Where is the test?

I don't see the test?